💼 Alabama… What can I even say?

Welcome to our blog. Mara and Brandon here 💚 I actually have a lot to say about our stay in Alabama but I will do my best to be tactful. We stayed with Brandon’s dad’s family for two months. It felt like a lifetime. Most of our stories are not like this but I do think this was a time of profound learning for us on this journey.

WARNING This is not a pleasant story. Trauma happened.

The First Week - Oct 17 2023

We were graciously offered a dedicated spot in the driveway of family’s home. Coming from Cedartown (North GA), we still had a lot to do on the bus before we were ready to start traveling. We were very grateful for the space.

We had only visited for a few hours at a time previously, usually on a holiday. It seemed like it would be a nice stay, and a good time to get to know them better. (Our cabinets were also being finished in the area, read more about that soon!)

The first impression upon pulling up was not great but it was also late so I didn’t take much stock in it. Within our third day of arrival, our 15 year old dog Duke was attacked by their larger dog. We had to jump in and separate them while the family stood in shock..

A few days later, after some very cold nights where that dog had been left outside, I found her.. She had been attacked by coyotes 😞 & I think the saddest part is that we were more upset about her passing than her family.. our family.. ?

We were also noticing a lot of things that were not apparent at a holiday function, like spending habits, lifestyle choices, excuses running their lives, an inability or lack of desire to change, self sabotage, the list goes on. They also were not hygienically clean with their belongings. Messes happen. Mold happens. There’s a difference between the two and I’ll leave that there.

They also owned 9 dogs, of the small, yippy variety and had never been socialized. They had to be corralled anytime we wanted to enter the house. If they were out, we would be jumped on and on occasion, bit. Not to mention the fact that they literally never stopped barking. …and the messes….

It was a lot to take in.

Oct 24 - Nov 2

Sharing a kitchen and bathroom was not pleasant. We actually started cooking on the grill exclusively for the majority of the time.

Honestly, so much happened here and so much was a shock that the order and timing of events is a little fuzzy. Neighborhood kids bullying, a blowout with Z’s partner’s parent, bronchitis running rampant…

✨ Quick Family Tree

Wife’s Mom: M

Dad: B — Wife: A

Kid 1 AB — Kid 2 H — Kid 3 Z

The owner of the house, the Mother of the Wife of the Dad, further referred to as “M” was confined to her bed where she chained smoked cigarettes while intubated with oxygen. I was told she has the capability to improve but no desire. She required at least one person to stay with her at all times, as she would threaten to die if she were left alone. And I mean that she would literally guilt her daughter or son in law verbally. A could not hold a job because she refused to stand up to M. B excused himself from work or self improvement by defaulting to “I am the way I am, I’m too old to change. And really I don’t want to anyway.” He is a diabetic with uncontrolled sugars and a sweet tea and cigarette addition. Not a great role model.

The kids themselves were difficult to be around as well. AB was so antisocial and anxious that she would leave the room anytime we entered, H open carried his loaded gun in the house and even pulled it out in response to a delivery car, and Z never left their room or spoke if they could help it. So much more happened. So much more revealed itself. It just kept getting harder each day.

At some point, M’s oxygen dropped too low and an ambulance had to come and take her to hospital. It became clear our spot was at jeopardy as it came out that B and A had no claim to the house or any power of decision making for the estate. After a rocky few days, she was discharged home with help.

⚠️WARNING

Not enough days passed and yet another emergency came knocking on the door. Except this time, it was B pounding on our bus door “Mara, please come now.” I ran inside to see AB on the hallway floor, barely wrapped in a towel, unconscious. Everything went into slow motion. I noticed the whole family was standing there, watching me take in the situation. A was standing helpless next to AB, shouting at her but not doing anything.

I ran to her and flipped her to her side so she wouldn’t choke. It was immediately apparent to me that she had taken something. I ran to each bathroom to find the open bottle. Nothing. I ran back to her, got close to her mouth and noticed sticky. She had drank something sticky. A whole bottle of cough syrup. And then a handful of Benadryl. (found that out after)

As the seconds ticked by, I could see her fading. Her color left her cheeks, started to leave her shoulders. I was watching her go. I don’t know why but I started rubbing her back really intensely and trying to rouse her. I started directing B, I need her ID and some clothes, A, help me get her dressed, don’t let her fall back. I kept it up until the paramedics got there and scooped her up.

They were able to get her conscious before they drove off to the hospital. I stayed with them all in the driveway until B and A drove off to follow the ambulance. We stayed with H and Z until they got home. It wasn’t till we were able to be alone that I lost my composure. I have no idea why B thought I was the right person to ask for help. I had no idea what to do, I just did. I had no idea I would be able to handle anything like that. I am 100% certain that if we had not been there to help, she would not have made it.

The following weeks showed so little change in behavior, so little action to address what had happened, that we were left so lost on how to process it.

Nov 3 - Dec 15 2023

We started limiting our interactions. We had a lot of work to do and started knocking out project after project: installing our desk, kitchen counters, sink and sink drain, painting our cabinets, cabinet knobs, curtain rods, custom kitty litter palace, reinforced the mini-split, solar battery cover, replaced a wall and fixed a leak.

Don’t forget the dogs. We didn’t have a bathroom in our bus yet so we had to go inside every time. At night, they would bark and wake everyone up. As someone who would like to go unnoticed in the middle of the night or on the way to the bathroom, this highlighted every trip.

& then, there were more.

One of their dogs impregnated another and we were now waiting on puppies to join the 9 they already had.

Thanksgiving season was now upon us and since we were going to still be there, we tried to plan a dinner with them. A week of pulling teeth trying to figure out what they were going to cook and when (so I knew when I could use the oven), I decided I wasn’t going to let them rule the holiday. I made a menu and a schedule, went shopping, and day of woke up super early to start cooking.

I made a buffalo injected, slow smoked turkey (Brandon on the grill), unstuffed stuffing, green beans, sweet potato casserole, mac n cheese, southern cornbread, apple pie, and blueberry cobbler. After picking at their plates, they retreated to their rooms like nothing happened.

It was the last straw for our battered hearts. We made plans to leave.

Dec 15

We made plans to stay near our storage unit for the next few weeks, at a HipCamp in Temple GA. There was still work to do and last minute storage trips would be made before we set off. We also had Christmas plans with family in North GA so we wanted to be close enough to drive to meet them.

Finally, we packed up the truck Bert and our bus Teddy, rolled up our windshield cover, and started on our journey!

Thank you for joining us on this journey of a lifetime. We hope our blog inspires you to embrace your own spirit of adventure and discover purpose in everything you do.

Until next time, happy trails!